Having trouble connecting with my mother?
My mom is the traditional strict arabic parent. She won’t let me have any freedom outside of school and work. I know I sound like a baby, but sometimes I just want to do something as simple as go to the mall with my best friend, or see a good movie with my sister, make my own decision in terms of what college I go to, or even attend school functions.
She and I have been arguing a lot lately, and I feel like I’m losing connection with her. I’m so upset because I don’t know what to do to make the both of us happy.
Is there anyone who can relate to me and give me any bit of advice? Jazak Allah Khair.
Sorry if I come off as whining, that’s not my intention. I just want for both my mother and I to be happy, without earning the displeasure of Allah (swt).
"And [remember that] her womb was your abode, and her lap your refuge, and her breast your feeder, and her whole existence your protection; it was she, not you, who was braving the heat and cold of this world for your safety."
i understand in a situation that you are in,but if she is more concern about u and ur actions and he cares and keep a check on ur actions its because she want to see you happy and be in straight path though she might be too strict but the best way for solving the solution is not arguing each other but you have to find the root cause suppose if she is not allowing you to go to mall?Y
she doesnt like ur friends or the environment?……
just sit with her and discuss the situation and tell her you are not a baby now and want to take ur decisions by ur own and all ur issue she is the one who can help you in best way and if there she has different perception you can discuss but im sure wat she do for you is just she cares n loves u alot.
Doing such things is haram. Listen to your mother and stop whining incessantly.
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This is not your diary, last person you should talk about to strangers is your mother.
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well.. i had the same problems as you, but my parents were pakiz… i guess time is really the answer to your problem.. when they thought i was old enough, they gave me a little freedom and over time im now nearly fully indepent on my self..
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talk it out with an alim.
or alimah (female scholar)
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Alykum asalaam wa ramatollhi wa barakatuhu sister,
i cant relate directly but i can give a bit of advice Insha’Allah
you can try communicating how you feel to her, asking her to try to understand your perspective…however, this probably wont work just because she is set in our traditions, culture, way of thinking, and ’she knows best’
i know you really want to do these things..but if you just listen to your mom and sacrifice things you want to do..Insha’Allah you get reward from Allah Subhanhu wa Ta’ala and if you sacrifice something for Allah SUbhanhu wa Ta’ala, He will replace it…in The Hereafter..you can see movies, do shopping non-stop in The Hereafter if you know what i mean?lol so just listen to her as hard as it can be….no parent is perfect…and be thankful that she restricts you in social aspects and doesnt make practising the deen hard…..for many, their mothers make it extremley difficult to pray, wear hijab, fast, anything… so what you’re going throgh is better
so just listen to her and sacrifice and Insha’Allah you’ll make your mom..and thus Allah SUbhanhu wa Ta’ala happy
compromise.. maybe if you want to go shopping, movies, and school event all in same month ..you can ask if you can go do 1 thing every month…or every 3 months ((i dont know how strict she is lol))
i know it may seem like she’s making all these decisions for you but it truly is because she wants th best for you and loves you
maybe try to use that time you would be at the movies to learn about a topic in Islam, memorize the names of Allah Subhanhu wa Ta’ala, cook for your fam, clean a room and do something for your mom
this advice is for myself first 
lol ..we should try living this life for the next (even tho tahts easier said than done we should still strive for it)
Jazaka’Allah khayran
Allah Hafiz
peace xo
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and Mash’Allah you seem like a good daughter for wanting to mend your relationship
it’s hard for you guys to connect because you’re living in completley different times, with different cultures and entertainments, priorities, mentalities, etc…..it’s normal
The struggle for independence from parents is common to all cultures, it is not a Muslim thing. If your mother raised your right then she should give herself credit by allowing you to begin making some decisions on your own. Whatever mistakes you make are yours to make in life and yours to learn from. Life is a test, but you cannot take the test is your parents decide everything for you.
If your mother will not loosen her grip, then you will have to endure while you seek smaller steps along the way of working toward obtaining full right to be your own person.
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When I was young, My mum was like that, she wouldn’t even let me talk on the phone for a long time. She wouldn’t let me go to my friends house or go out with friends. I hated that, and sometimes I felt that my mum is way too strict. But growing up I came to understand that it was for my best.
I see a lot of girls whom i feel sorry for, they have no manners, no self respect or even dignity. I saw a girl the other day at the mall with a guy following her around like her shadow, she kept looking at him and smile as he tries to get her number. I speak honestly when I say that I feel disgusted when a guy tries to do the same thing to me, sometimes I ignore it and sometimes I make him hate the day he was born with one of my long lectures.
Appreciate your mother, because she wants what is best for you. Even when it seems way too strict, you should understand that its for your own benefit. One day you will grow up and you will understand why your mother is so concerned, and you will thank her for that.
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♥
"And [remember that] her womb was your abode, and her lap your refuge, and her breast your feeder, and her whole existence your protection; it was she, not you, who was braving the heat and cold of this world for your safety."
i understand in a situation that you are in,but if she is more concern about u and ur actions and he cares and keep a check on ur actions its because she want to see you happy and be in straight path though she might be too strict but the best way for solving the solution is not arguing each other but you have to find the root cause suppose if she is not allowing you to go to mall?Y
she doesnt like ur friends or the environment?……
just sit with her and discuss the situation and tell her you are not a baby now and want to take ur decisions by ur own and all ur issue she is the one who can help you in best way and if there she has different perception you can discuss but im sure wat she do for you is just she cares n loves u alot.
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tnhz